love's knocking

i'm standing outside of Hotel Amour on the sidewalk of some busy street staring at the entrance door
i've been standing here for a while now
many people have walked by me, dozens of cars have drove down the street
S550s, buicks, bmws, volkswagens, camrys, honda civics, bentley coupes...
and i still have yet to make my way through the golden revolving doors
alot of thoughts are racing through my head, im scared
my big brown eyes shift nervously from person to person, building to building
Nina Simone's "Sinnerman" plays on my ipod and i hum ever so loudly
because i know no one on this loud busy street can hear me
my bowlegged stance is wearing out, im tired of standing i wanna go
i wanna go, but then i dont wanna go..so do i go? ugh
a short pudgy woman of about 4'11 feet in stature rushes past me and bumps the life out of me
bitch
im getting a little aggravated but its whatever
minutes later a dirty blue suburu 97' turns the corner super fast and splashes mud onto the front of my Jeffrey Campbell boots. really?! okay now im upset
i go through the revolving doors mad as all hell
i make my way to Room 143
okay, now i'm right in front of the door
i've been wanting to do this for a long time but i've always avoided it
i'm ready.
i raise my arm to knock on the door and my Henri Bendel wrist accessories jingle and clatter and shake as loud as shit, making my heart jump
bitch, get it together! i say to myself...
okay i'm ready for real this time

knock ,
knock ,

knock..............................

i waited for 15 minutes after the third knock and tried one last time
KNOCK
no answer
after all of the thought i put into this? all the drama i endured? i'm knocking on his door and no response? it's not that no one's home though
love's knocking at his door
and i think he just doesnt wanna answer